Here are the things I've started to write, and why I've stopped writing them.
1) The story of Dirty Friday, a memorable night out - god, why would you write that, binge drinking is a serious problem. Also, you're 32 years old, for God's sake! You shouldn't be talking about that!
2) Fun stages of drunk, like how my wife and I, after two bottles of wine, will inevitably talk about starting a Fleetwood Mac Tribute band - Two bottles of wine doesn't sound good. That might be too much. That's a bottle each.
3) Descriptions of my favourite drinks - Mist on the side of a perfectly clear vodka martini? The salty tang of a bloody mary? the richness of a deep burgundy? A crisp white, with some grilled fish? What are you, the alcoholic observer food section?
4) A serious paragraph on the relationship with alcohol you naturally have as an Irish man. Youcan't write that! You hate pints! Don't even like guinness...
5) The enduring seductive power of oblivion, and altered states in general - Really? That's stuff you should probably be telling a counsellor. That goes nowhere good. I mean, it's absolutely true that no-one can live in a world with homebase, and sales quotas, and buzzfeed, and not want to catapult their consciousness into a beautiful plane of existence full of laughter and song. You can't say that though - maybe there are people who don't think that.
6) A list of things I do better drunk than sober - that's something you wrote on an old blog, a long time ago. You don't play pool any more, and you've realised that you have more social competence, if not confidence when you're sober rather than drunk.
7) Great Drinking Stories (tm) - The anecdotes I trot out that everyone around me is sick of hearing. Trains in Russia, Upstairs in Doyles, etc. etc. etc. Sad, just sad.
In conclusion, this has made me consider my life more than most other Thing a week entries. I hope you're happy, past me!
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